hellnohateyou's Xanga

Monday, November 09, 2009

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 01:01:23 GMT

Friday was a professional development day and the end of the first quarter for the Chicago Public School Students. It started really well- a staff meeting without much arguing, a math meeting where I could follow what was what (and since we were learning a computer system shared by all of CPS, I was learning something that might be useful to me in my next job). When I went to speak to the principal about my chess club proposal, he said it was great, all he was waiting on was the funding. I pointed out that I'd given an estimate of essentials that kept the price pretty low, and he said that the supplies weren't the issue, it was my stipend. I told him that I didn't need a stipend; he said that it would only be right to give me one. I said that would be great, stipend or no stipend I was in. So, he said he'll get back to me sometime next week. I assume that means that chess club is a go. And maybe I'm getting a stipend!

So, I'll be running a chess club at Thirsty Minds Middle School from Thanksgiving break through Winter Break. I'll be at the school for about an hour and a half each morning. If I get enough applicants (and the other teachers assure me that I will), I'll have two groups of sixteen students each. Each group will meet to play chess twice per week, and then once a week both groups will meet and do chess puzzles. I had assumed that I wouldn't be getting that much student interest, but some of the eigth grade teachers told me that they think I'll get thirty applications from 8th graders alone. So, so, so.

I am particularly hoping that working with students who want to be working with me, in smaller classes, will bring me back to a place where I can enjoy teaching. Because I'm not having a whole lot of fun right now. Four more days of student teaching left! Being there for only an hour and a half should also make sure that I get out and about every day, have plenty of time left over to apply for jobs (or sit around reading, or write poetry, or whatever), and it shouldn't be enough to tire me out. The fact that it's so early in the morning means I'd continue having a problem with evening activities- but so what?

Friday didn't end so well, because mid day we got the announcement that final grades, which we'd been led to believe were due this coming Friday, were due on this past Friday at midnight. So, a lot of folks prepared to stay up 'till midnight. I felt like a traitor leaving at 3:20 to get home in time for shabbes.

I spent the weekend with a mild to moderate pain in my upper left abdomen, around the pancreas. If I'm still having pain there on November 23rd (day of endo visit), I'm going to ask for serum amylase and lipase tests to be run (for pancreatitis).

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:25:30 GMT

I'm in the final lap of this marathon we call education. I had my last official visit from DePaul, and got my final evaluations from the University and from my cooperating teacher. I'd have to do something truly egregious not to pass now, or at least not to pass the student teaching portion. My marks weren't as stellar as I'd like them to be, but they were good enough. The guidance counselor drives me to school in the mornings and I was telling him that while it seems to me that my classmates are mostly thinking about how they're going to be graded and the jobs they're going to get, my biggest concern is, "Am I being a good enough teacher that I'm not harming my students' education?" and the counselor told me that judging from the comments about me he gets from the students, I'm doing great. He says the thing he hears students complain about the most in regards to me is that I go too fast, and that the complaint he usually hears the most about my cooperating teacher is that her accent makes her harder to understand. He says that the complaint "goes too fast" is practically impossible for a math teacher to avoid and not to worry about it. However, my university supervisor also feels that I'm going too fast. In comparison to the other math teachers in the school, I am going at about the same speed as the other two who aren't tracking, and the ones who are are going slower with their slow group and faster with their fast group.

What with the comeback of my joint pains, I was thinking arthritis, but the nurse on the phone with me today said that when her son was my age, he had pains like I'm having and they turned out to be... growing pains. Yes, dear readers, growing pains. That kind of makes me feel silly, but also oddly cheered. However, the nurse also suggested that I get myself checked for RA and lupus, because, y'know- I am at high risk. Ugh. I was looking those up myself yesterday. The thing is, my ESR and CRP, both typically high in people with RA and lupus, were one third the bottom of normal, and undetectable, respectively, the one and only time they were tested (which I think was June).

My next doctor visit is another three weeks into the future but now that it's scheduled I keep wondering about what my lab values are going to be and which tests I should ask for. I asked the nurse on the phone why my erythrocyte sedimentation rate and c-reactive protein would've been so low when there was clear inflammation present, and she said maybe the lab messed up with my sample and she recommends a retest. So I'm thinking maybe I should have those tests rerun. I'm also thinking about getting a gene test for a celiac risk profile. The A1c and the TSH are sort of obvious. I'm thinking about a random microalbuminuria test. Maybe yes, maybe no. I might want the monofilament thing redone to get a better idea about whether I really have neuropathy or was just having a bad day at my last test (ok, maybe that's a long shot, but so what?).

I wanted to put on xangazon that I'm watching a video I downloaded from the Chicago Public Library online branch, Easy Sign Language, but it wouldn't let me. So, I'm watching that. It's kinda basic for me, but on the other hand, it uses some different signs from ones I use. And it's in a class format, whereas I usually learn sign from dictionaries and actual immersion, and while those are both great, dictionaries are hard to use and static, while immersion tends to leave me piecing things together sloooowly.

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 04:19:54 GMT

I finally registered for the midwest trans youth conference on Friday. I say finally because I spent about three weeks trying to figure out the feasibility of the thing. It's in two weeks, for the weekend. I'm pretty sure I know how I'm coming back (somebody is going to drive me from the camp grounds to the Greyhound and then I ride Greyhound into the south side of Chicago), but I'm not sure how I'm getting there. It starts Friday evening, and I need to get there before the shuttle bus taking most of the attendees, because I need to check in before shabbes starts. Worst case, I think I can take a local commuter bus from Milwaukee to about three miles from the camp grounds and then walk from there. Might be an adventure.

On Thursday I told my therapist that the Super Masochistic Man song was stuck in my head, and was surprised to learn that she not only already knew the song, but had watched the movie. I said how I like the gallows humor in songs like that one (and some others that I can think of that are more diabetes related) and she said that she sees me as approaching my life in general (and specifically my expectations of a shorter life) with a gallows humor. I like the thought but am not sure it's true. She couldn't think of any examples.

Today I layned, since it's been 9 years since my bat mitzvah. I didn't have it as memorized as I thought I did, but I did okay. For my bat mitzvah, I layned rishon through chamishi (part 1- part 5), and today I layned rishon. I should have asked for shlishi though. That's the one that's really stuck in my head all these years. I love the drama in most of the portion. The first part is just, so Abram is told to leave, and he leaves, and he takes with him his wife and his nephew and his servants and everything he had and he camps. The last three verses of the first portion is where it starts getting exciting. Abram says: Here now I have known that you are a woman of beauty. And it will happen when the Egyptians see you that they'll say: This is his wife. And they'll kill me and you they will let live. Say, please, that you are my sister, that it will go well for me on your journey, and my soul will live on because of you. Then of course he gets rich off of her in the next portion. In the third, Abraham and Lot part ways, and I just love the drama and the music of it (although the guy reading it today didn't really use the trop which was disappointing for me), and then Abram goes to war on behalf of Lot (and sort of on behalf of Sodom) which is really exciting except I don't like reading that part because there are these names and you have to really remember them because as far as I know they don't have meanings beyond being names, so they're harder to remember while looking at the no-vowels torah scroll. Then we have the birth of Ishmael, and the circumcision of everybody male in Abram's encampment.

I left early (right after the haftorah reading) because I was dizzy, tired, shaky, and having a hard time hearing. So I thought I'd cut my losses and leave. I had also been thinking about how the last time I'd read this portion it was my bat mitzvah and now here I am and if I say "my bat mitzvah" people will assume I'm one of those secular Jews who doesn't even know the difference between a bar and bat mitzvah (yes, I meet lots of secular people who call their bat mitzvahs bar and vice versa). I didn't like the thought, really.

Friday, October 30, 2009

Fri, 30 Oct 2009 03:01:15 GMT

Today was picture day at Thirsty Minds Middle School (not its real name). 7th graders had a "dress up" day where they weren't required to wear uniforms. Maybe because of that, maybe for other reasons, they were hellions. Yargh! I had one class that seemed to be asleep, and four that seemed hell bent on being stupid and silly. I'm told that happens every year on picture day.

My students scored abominably on the last couple (from the book) tests they'd be given, so on the suggestion of another math teacher in the school (as well as of the principal), we decided to give them a retest today. I gave them 20 minutes to take a test, and then told them that it was a practice test. Or, that's what I did with periods one and two. The reaction to this news was so negative, however, (You mean, I did all this work for nothing?!) that I changed my delivery to the next three classes. Instead, I told them I had good news and bad news. Bad news: You have another test tomorrow. Good news: it will be very much like today's test, and you get to bring a sheet of notes. That went over slightly better.

Somebody from DePaul spoke to my class Tuesday night about certification. It sounds like DePaul receives my test scores in mid December, and then issues a recommendation that I be certified, following which I am responsible for submitting my stuff to the state. I didn't pay attention that well; I think that come December I'm just going to go into the education office and have somebody there walk me through the process. Anyways, after I get certified I have an initial license, good for up to four years (doesn't matter if they're consecutive) of teaching, after which I need some continuing education credits in order to keep my license (and it converts to a standard license). Also, I pay a five dollar annual fee to keep the license active. And I'm getting a B.S. rather than a B.A. (at DePaul, both are offered for math ed majors).

Since I'll have some time on my hands between when I finish student teaching and when I'm certified, and since I don't want to start working right away anyways, I've been thinking about what to do with myself, and what I think is: I'll spend an additional week in the classroom while my cooperating teacher takes the classes back. I'm going to additionally submit a proposal to the principal about running a 3 or 4 week before school chess club. Since students mostly ride school busses and arrive an hour before classes begin, it shouldn't be too difficult to get kids. And if I come in only for before school activities, then I can be sure that I get up in the mornings but still have the rest of my days free to job hunt or whatever else I might want to do. I need to draft a proposal to show the principal. First I want to find out if he already has chess sets though- the school used to have a chess club a long time ago.

Got My (H1N1) Shot

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 00:39:37 GMT

On Thursday I received an email from DePaul saying that H1N1 vaccinations would be available for DePaul students in particular categories (pregnant women, health care workers, the chronically ill, and caregivers of children under 5) on Friday from 9 AM to 5 PM in the gym. So on Friday afternoon I went to the gym, swiped in with my student ID card, filled out a form. The form asked for my name, date of birth, and address, offered two options to circle for gender, and check boxes asking me to whether I'd had any symptoms of illness that day (I pondered this and decided to just check no), whether I'd ever had a bad reaction to a vaccine or had Guillain Barre Syndrome (which, really, falls under the category of a bad reaction IMHO), whether I was allergic to eggs, and whether or not I fell into any of the high risk categories. I circled the high risk categories I fall under until I noticed that it said not to do that, and to just check the yes box, so I checked the yes box.

While I was returning my form to the desk, an elderly woman was asking about whether the vaccines were going to be offered to the public, and was told that the city colleges would be offering vaccines to the priority population on Saturday(today) but that DePaul would probably not be. I thought this didn't make a lot of sense. Why should college kids get preference?

In fact, I don't agree that vaccinating sick and old people- the at risk categories- should be a priority. I think the priority should be for healthy people who work around people. Why? Simple- a vaccine is not a medication. A vaccine teaches the immune system how to fight a particular disease; it provokes the creation of an antibody response, giving the body a few days' head start in fighting a disease. But the thing is, in people whose immune systems are weak, the vaccine (teacher) is often ineffective because the weakened (stupid) immune system doesn't have the capacity to learn. In trials of the H1N1 vaccine, the vaccine was more than usually effective in provoking the desired immune response in healthy adults- in fact, it got the response in close to 100%. But in the elderly, an antibody response was seen in only about half of the immunized. Herd immunity- having the people around us not get sick because they've been vaccinated- is a better bet for our protection, although the vaccine certainly can't hurt. For one thing, if only half of the sick who get vaccinated are fully protected- well, half of the people is a lot of people. For another, it may be that the immune system did learn something even if an antibody response wasn't seen in the lab tests. But if a shortage of vaccines exist, I think they should be used in people that they will be most effective in. Perhaps somebody has a pandemic model that would convince me otherwise- if so, please comment with a link.

But, back to my own vaccination. I returned the form, and was escorted into another room (usually a squash court) where an impromptu vaccination site was set up, with a bunch of young women sitting at tables with medical equiptment were in the process of preparing to inject, and injecting, lots of young people, and an older, uniformed nurse sat behind a table in the back. I went to a table, took a seat, unrolled the sleeve on my left arm. I asked the young lady if she was a nurse, and when she said she was a student, I told her that in that case, I guessed I'd probably done more injections than she had. She looked sort of confused, so I pointed at my hat (Powered By Insulin). In retrospect, this was probably rude of me. Anyhow, she prodded my shoulder, swabbed it somewhat overenthusiastically and in a random sort of way with rubbing alcohol, and swished her hand over it. I commented that I hate when alcohol gets into injection sites ('cause I do), and decided not to tell her all about the studies I've read showing that rubbing alcohol over an injection site is actually not a good idea. The syringe was attached to the needle in a way I hadn't seen before and I asked her if it was an autoinjector, but the nursing student said no, she'd have to inject me herself (it sounded like she'd never heard of an autoinjector). She stuck the needle in smoothly- not particularly quickly, but confidently. Then she aspirated, which I hate, and then injected, and removed the needle. A very small drop of blood came out and I refused the band-aid she offered to put on the site.

After the shot, I was given a few forms to hand to the person behind the desk at the back of the room, and given a small card to keep. On one side (photograph shown) it has a little chart entitled in bold Influenza Vaccination Information, with spaces for information about an H1N1 vaccination and booser, and a 2009-2010 seasonal flu shot (which, if you've been reading this blog, you know that I got back in August). The first line is filled in and says that I got a shot from lot number 100739 made by Novartis. At the bottom, there's a reminder box about returneing for a second dose, with none of the boxes checked, and there's the CDC logo. On the other side of the card, there's a box that says Influenza Vaccination Record, with a space for provider name and patient name, and my name was put in provider and nothing was put in for patient name. The last part of the card says that I should keep the card "for at least 1 year after your last vaccination" and explains how I can report an adverse reaction in both English and Spanish. I was also given a general information sheet.

My arm became slightly sore a few minutes after the shot, and is no longer sore (31 hours later).

I checked a book out of the library yesterday about influenza. It was published this year but apparently before the swine flu became a public issue, because the only swine flu mentioned is the 1978 outbreak. The most interesting information to me contained therein is that the seasonal flu shot is a triumvirate (which means protecting against three viruses) and is always protective against (1) strain of H1N1, (1) strain of H2N3, and (1) strain of influenza B. From the reading, I guess that this year the strain of H1N1 in the seasonal flu shot was different from the swine flu variation. Another interesting thing I didn't know was about the ways in which flu vaccinations are starting to be made without chicken eggs, in quicker and cheaper ways that have just begun to hit the market. I don't know why they aren't being used more yet.

A product of two primes whose difference is 4

Fri, 23 Oct 2009 03:19:21 GMT

one birthday
two eyes opening
three needles in my diabetes case
four breakfast units
five math classes
six AM wake up
seven streets accompanying a student
eight oclock the bell rings
nine forgotten homeworks littering my clasroom
ten students in the morning
eleven obtuse triangles
twelve I E Ps
thirteen mints
fourteen minutes for my lunch
fifteen for homeroom
sixteen's the room with the bird
seventeen is writing workshop
eighteen is for science
nineteen a looooovely prime
twenty students well wishing for my
twenty first birthday!

Guest

Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:53:36 GMT

Today I had over for lunch a guy whose mother is friends with my mother and whom I've therefore known for about ten years. He's my age, and he has celiac and Down Syndrome, and I was nervous about both of these things. Celiac, because we were feeding him and I surely would not want to be responsible for poisoning the guy. Down Syndrome, because when I asked him if he liked any games other than monopoly he said no and I thought we might get bored fast. I needn't have worried on either count; the food went over well enough, he wasn't sick, and it turns out that he likes a lot of games and has gotten way better at them since I last played with him. He beat me at a number of games of strategy, in fact. Afterwards we walked over to his house. We were playful and giggly and it was great to be able to be silly like that. We played ping pong at his house. The last time I'd been there, about eight years ago, he'd been a pathetic player and a sore loser; this time he beat me the first round and I won the second and third (that is, we were well matched) and he was a most gracious loser. It was a somewhat humbling experience, but mostly just plain fun.

Picture Dump

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 23:48:21 GMT

I did this puzzle for the sixth or so time on Saturday.

Suntimes arrives around 6 AM. Checking blood sugar after breakfast Went to ALDI's Monday morning.... .... but it was closed. Went to work on Monday because the schools were closed for Columbus Day.

I'm on the October schedule for only 10 hours. Trying to put a loom back together in the morning- no boss there yet. Swiping in- time clock always is fast. Blood sugar sure dropped a lot on the way to work!

Skip a few days now.

So how big is a ton, folks? You can't tell me I didn't assign this clearly! Find an obtuse or acute angle in an object outside of school: draw it, label it, classify it, measure it. 3 bonus points per object, no late work will be accepted.

My Students

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:16:33 GMT

Today one of my quieter students told me, after the other students had left, that he thought I was a really cool teacher. And it felt really good, largely because it was so unexpected. I am not being a great teacher- I have a rought time with discipline, with figuring out multiple expectations for me, with learning where all of my students are at, and with meeting their disparate needs. I am halfway through my student teaching experience, and I don't even know all of my students by name. The student who approached me today is neither a student I've ignored nor a student who had especially stood out. He's quiet, turns in all of his homework, and does well. I suppose it's encouraging that he thinks I'm doing well, because I'm worried that I'm boring some of my more advanced students. Guess not this one.

So thinking about how I wouldn't have expected this student to think I was great got me thinking about which students I am thinking about more, which ones I'm putting in extra effort for and who stick in my mind. Here are a few. I've attempted to take out identifying details but sometimes that's not possible.

One of my students is hyperactive and impulsive, shouts out in class. Last week he read a book on geography in all of his spare moments, and this week he's been glumly bored. Unfortunately, he got into some serious trouble this week with multiple other authority figures.

One of my students says Easy! to almost everything she sees. During my Homework Help hours, she came in, and when I asked her what homework she wanted help with, she said she didn't want homework, she wanted some harder work. So I gave it to her for fifty minutes. While I'm certain she can do advanced work, she unfortunately hasn't mastered the stuff she calls easy and makes sloppy mistakes. Although I was initially inclined to be annoyed by her cries of Too Easy! I have since decided that her calls are indications that she is trying to pay attention and that I can use her as an indicator of how much I'm making sense to the class as a whole.

I have one quiet little student who hasn't turned in anything, and when I asked her to write on the board, she almost cried. I've seen her outside of school holding hands with a boy- she lives in the neighborhood.

I've got a pair of students who sit in the back row and hand a pair of glasses back and forth between the two of them. They hold whispered conferences throughout class- almost all of it about math. My university supervisor pointed them out to me and said that one was going to learn more from the other than from me, and he was right except that he mixed up which student was the one teaching which. I love seeing this pair- they are earnest, hardworking, and when they're talking and oughtn't, they're at least on topic. They don't distract the other students either.

One youngster, two weeks in, said hello to me by name a few times and when all I said was hello back, he said, disgustedly, You don't know my name, do you?! And he was right. But when I asked him, he wouldn't tell me. I found his name by the end of that day and have made a point of greeting him by name every day since. In class, he sits with a harassed air, generally working a few steps behind the rest of the class. He volunteers answers occasionally and doesn't chat.

I've got one student who consistantly performs at the top of the class. Although he doesn't volunteer answers, he pays attention, is ready with the answer any time I call on him, and reads ahead in the textbook. Outside of school, he gets in people's faces and threatens them.

One of my students is a drama queen. She is talking (never on topic) to her seatmates no matter who I sit her by, and can spark an argument anywhere. When I call on her to answer, she tries - but as soon as she's done answering me, she's back to talking about which lipstick is cuter. I guess I need to figure out how to either discipline or motive this student. Or both.

Three of my students seem uncomfortable with English. Two talk in Spanish and then try translating themselves into English; another does the same with Vietnamese. Of the three, one is excellent at the algebraic stuff but lost, bored, and getting into mischief when we get into stuff he doesn't understand. One whispers for clarification to other students and sometimes whispers about other stuff too, but is another excellent student. And the last one goofs off full time and as far as I can tell doesn't know how to multiply two digit numbers.

My students leave the building in two main shifts, one group for the bus and five minutes later another group that walks home. Five minutes is a long time when you're twelve years old, and after a week of hearing, "Why can't we go yet- they left!", I started bringing in picture books. The one below I chose for the second student described in this post (the hyperactive impulsive lover of geography), and although he expressed some interest in it, it was another boy who was really interested in the book. Yay book!

Thursday, October 01, 2009

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 19:36:38 GMT

I wrote my last post while on the express computer at the library (where I'm at again today), and timed out while I was writing. I want to finish writing about the experience and thoughts I had on Yom Kippur.

So I wrote a lot about how much it's been hitting me that other people've got vocabularies that appear insufficient to me. I didn't write about my own vocabulary. How did I learn Hebrew? I lived in Israel back in first grade, and was once upon a time fluent in Modern Hebrew at a first grader's level (I had trouble with English when we came back. I attended Jewish schools for five grades, and went to the local kollel for another five years after I left the private schools. I wrote a biblical commentary once a week for an online discussion group for a year, and I read the English and Hebrew in my bibles. And that's it.

So when I pray, in Hebrew, do I know what all the words I say mean? No. Not usually. Do I know most of the words? Yes. Do I get distracted figuring out the words? Yes, yes, yes. Even more so, the meanings. For example, in the benediction said after eating, there's a phrase, "shalom bimromav". Peace in the heavens. What in heaven does that mean?!

Timing out again. Sorry.